Royals Run Riot in Richmond

If there was a frustration about the OT4 season to this point, it was their inability to make their territorial domination show on the score sheet. More than one pundit has pointed out that this may come to haunt them at the end of the season. Well, in one sultry evening in Richmond, much of that frustration evaporated, and the Goulbourn Greyhounds suffered while the Royals had a decidedly "on" night.

Coach Harry VanDyk didn't have a full team out, but we were in luck as Ken "Shoes" Slemko had remembered his spikes this time and didn't have to cross the city to go pick them up (we've checked with the league and playing a game in Tevas is not allowed). Keeper Larry Everett was away on vacation, as were Fergus MacDonald and Riccardo Brun Del Re. Richard Gravel was forced away by another meeting, and Nigel Parker was off helping Laura do pastries.

With Larry away, Mario Arnone, trying to protect a troublesome knee, volunteered to play goal. He would turn out to fit the bill well, as he looked all husky with the sweatshirt on and sweated a lot in the humidity. Even better, he may have stopped a shot or two.

The forward line of Marwan Kassis, Andy Steele and Brian Harcombe got the game started quickly and on the right note. All three were in fine form, and within minutes, a goal kick from Arnone had launched Kassis in for a breakaway. The eagle-eyed Kassis deked the Goulbourn keeper and slotted home to send the Royals off and running. After 10 minutes, a punt forward by Arnone, and a moment of Harcombian inspiration, as his flicked header sent Kassis in again. Wanting to be more artistic than the first time, Kassis chipped the keeper, then raced around him to tap home into an empty net.

It was about this time that the referee, an affable fellow from the same Dutch home town as VanDyk, perhaps decided that he didn't want the game to get out of hand too quickly and chose to make his influence felt. His decisions from this point on can only be described as visionary, as many of his calls astounded players from both teams, many of them muttering in admiration "How could he possibly have seen that?". His understanding of the offside rule was clearly beyond the plane of this earth.

Harcombe again released Kassis with a gorgeous diagonal ball and as he approached the keeper, Marwan laid off for onrushing midfielder Doug Green. Green administered a technically perfect tap-in into the empty net, and it was only after ten seconds of congratulations that the Royals learned that offside calls could apply to players behind the ball carrier. So, still 2-0, but that wouldn't last too long.

The Royals put their substitutes in, Brian Mackintosh for Green and VanDyk for Harcombe, and they quickly went about putting the game away. Hyperactive midfielder Graham Cathcart unleashed a strong shot from 25 years that may or may not have been going in, but a Greyhound defender reached out and intentionally blocked it with his arm. The Royals' call for a red card may not have seemed sporting, but they have had the experience of losing games where a key opponent should have been sent off, and how were they to know that the score would eventually become so lopsided? The referee called things correctly, a penalty and a sending off, but his counting of yards for placement of the spot kick left penalty-taker and occasional sweeper Paul Dickins shooting off a slope. He laced his shot high and straight to the centre of the net, but the keeper, who had begun gently hopping about his line like a Craig Forrest with stomach problems ended up not moving, and blocked the shot away for a corner. The corner was half cleared, and a vengeful Dickins called off Cathcart, and lashed home a gorgeous strike, again from 25 yards. It seemed like a lot of huffing and puffing for nothing, as that's where the shot which caused the penalty came from - but we will admit that Paul's shot was nicer than Graham's.

Of course, the Royals immediately became complacent. Goulbourn, who are not without talented players, attacked quickly down the Royals' left side. Twice they were blocked, though not stopped completely, and a loose ball fell to a Greyhound on the far side. He lobbed the advanced Arnone, and just before the half, it was a game again, at 3-1. Shortly thereafter, another visionary piece of refereeing denied Marwan his hat trick. A pity, as the build up to the goal was gorgeous; a diagonal pass that Van Dyk beautifully dummied to allow surging right back Mike Fournier to run on to. He continued his push to the by line, passing the Goubourn defense in review, then pulled back for Kassis to slot home. Except, no! Apparently FIFA has changed the rules, and now back passes can lead to offside calls too! Dickins in particular was effusive in praising the wise refereeing to defensive partner Jeff McNamee. The only other incident of note in the half involved Andy Steele and the Goulbourn right back. Perhaps still in the spirit of the Highland Games, the pair engaged in the auld Scottish sport of shoulder shoving, and concurrently discussed something which may or may not have involved the chances of Partick Thistle going up this year. Where a word to calm the errant lads might have sufficed, our brave referee administered a yellow card to each.

The second half began with two bizarre moments, as the referee and Goulbourn had to be reminded that sending a player off means that a team has to play the rest of the game a man short. That, plus Green attempted a reprise of an earlier pre-game talk, which immediately had Cathcart grimacing and acting like he had a bout of colic. Fortunately, the Royals made their extra man felt quickly, and at this point, your correspondent must confess he may have some of the facts confused. There was so much offense, so many chances, that, like a blind man seeing for the first time, like a previously chaste man at an orgy, like an English fan at a Dutch-French national team game, or like a baby in a topless bar, so much happened that some of the details may have become blurred.

This much can be stated, some of it with a touch of certainty. Early on, during a spell of Royals pressure, Harcombe found Green at the top of the box. A nice control to eliminate a defender, a nice shot to the far corner, and it was 4-1. Then Harcombe got in on the act, with a stunning move on the right side and made it 5. Moments, later, an accurate far post corner from Cathcart, and up popped Harcombe to get his brace. The game raced on at a hectic pace, and even the central defensive pair of Dickins and McNamee pressed up frequently. VanDyk complained to Green about the latter catching up to him in scoring and immediately put some distance between the two. Good passing put VanDyk through, and his shot, if not his best, was enough to beat the Goulbourn keeper and make it 7. Then Marwan decided he could not be forgotten, and a move on the left left him with an easy shot for his first hat trick for the OT4. Minutes later, more pressure, a corner, Jeff came up, Graham launched what must have been his 10th dangerous corner of the game, Green leapt and missed, but not Van Dyk, who made it 9.

The 10th goal may have been the nicest. During a brief spell of Greyhounds pressure, Matthew Blackwell, author of an excellent match, touched on to Green just in front of the Royals defense and began a right-to-left movement. As the Royals had spent much of the game playing on the right, it opened space for them. Green heard Dickins call and saw the speed with which he was moving. A simple layoff, and Dickins stole in and nabbed the ball from between two lunging Greyhounds. With that, he was off to the races, around three players on the left, all the way to the by line, cut back inside, feinted, and unleashed a deft shot to the far corner. Top drawer stuff. The final goal was also nice. It came about off a pass to a lurking Mackintosh on the right side. He advanced, lined up well, and beat the new keeper with a clever shot to the far side. Again, details are blurry, but one does seem to recall passes from Steele, Harcombe, Green, Blackwell and Kassis somewhere in some of those goals.

At some point during all this, a fatigued Green dropped to left back, and asked Slemko to push up into midfield, where he had a good run. The same, alas, could not be said of Green, who was immediately twisted and turned by a Goulbourn attacker. The first time this happened, it resulted only in a weak shot wide, but the second was more fatal. Two good moves, a one-two, and the Goulbourn player was in the area. His shot was labelled top left corner, but Arnone assured all it was going wide. It went into the top left corner. Mario will make his long-anticipated return to midfield next week. It should be noted that, even with all the offense, the Royals fullbacks had some work to do, and Slemko, Fournier, McNamee and Dickins were solid, both collectively and individually.

A good win, the game was played, for the most part, in good spirits, and we had a good crowd. Brian Harcombe brought out Jordan, Graham brought out his son Eric, and Brian Mackintosh and Marwan brought out almost all of their extended families. Your correspondent even had the chance to chat with one lady of a certain age who remembered when "Brian and Marwan played together when they were 14 years old." Her memory is better than Mario's. A nice evening all around, and we were even able to drink beer before the rain sweeping through the area reached us.

Next week, we're at home to a tough Spitfires' team, game time 6:30.

But, editor's note: NO REFEREE showed up on Friday, and the referee for the other game on the lower field, knew that no referee had been assigned to our game. What kind of organisation is this, that cannot make a phone call to the registered Manager to advise of the situation. We may have been able to provide an official. But no, there is no one on duty at the OCSL to maintain a vigil so that teams could phone in up to the time of fifteen minutes past registered kick off and be informed. This is monstrous.